Waves of Humility

I stood on a beach along the Bay of Bengal in Auroville, India, holding a container filled with the ashes of my friend Ariela.  It was dawn, the sun had risen and was glistening upon the sea with crashing waves pounding the sand, mixing with it, pulling it out into its watery vastness.  I sat down in the sand and began to chant the mantra of our mutual spirit-cell-teacher-Guru-Mother, the Divine Mother. 

I offered everything in that moment – the years of waiting that her family and husband waited for her final wish to be realized, the years of sitting in that container with me, the journey across the world from America to this special place in India, our true Home, my connection to Ariela, her connection to me, the whole dynamic path of life being unfolded in that moment, and myself, my entire being.  I offered it all to the Divine, hoping I was doing something good here and wanting it all to be perfect for Ariela beyond and for the Divine.  I chanted the mantra –  Om Namoh Bhagavate – and surrendered it all there on that beach in Auroville.  I meditated and offered this ash-Matter – once body, yet still Body – vibrating with Spirit Presence of Ariela awaiting, I sensed, some small release in this world in order to better move on in her journey. 

I stood up and walked, in shorts and shirt, to the water and began to wade in slowly.  The undertoe was immense even at a foot deep.  The waves were coming in big and fast, crashing, spreading its mist like some watery being exhaling into the air around.  I kept wading carefully into the sea up to knee height, the water swirling and chaotic from the dynamism of the waves crashing before me.  I held the plastic bag filled with Ariela’s past and wondered what the right way would be to do this, to release her into the earth’s living Poseidon.  I held the ashes and began slowly to release them into the water, chanting more Om Namoh Bhagavate, with as much reverence, respect, and Love as I could.  As I continued to release the ashes, one big wave decided to surge forward in a big swell and slap right into my chest and body, knocking me over and into the water, full-clothed, still holding the half-full bag of ashes that were now mixing with the salt-water stew of the sea.  I got up semi-dazed and knew immediately she was smiling, and I was laughing.  Laughing.  It was like a humorous slap in the face, “Noel!  Stop taking all this so seriously!  Live!  Breathe!  Smile!  Laugh!”  Like an ego-check, telling me to let go of all this and everything.  Ariela, of course, was and is still with me and is doing work in the great beyond to help realize all that the world of Matter is destined to become and manifest.  “No, it’s not about me or her,” I realized.  It’s about Something Else.  It’s about some great Divine Presence which is working in Matter now, in our cells, in EVERYTHING!  The great Divine Mother is in all of Matter, transforming Herself, Ourself which is also Herself, everything, from the depths of Matter and in particular in the little cells in our bodies and in nature.  These little cells with big wisdom.  A wisdom which is LIVED, which is REAL!  Not up in the mind floating about waiting for something below to catch it and try to create it, but down down down in the body’s cellular workings, where the Divine Mother breathes Her living Form and is undoing the habit of ages to bring forth something new.  Something unbelievably New. 

We must not mistake, it is not we humans who are transforming or can do this transformation in Matter.  It is only the Divine, the Divine Force and Power, the Divine Will and Grace, which can awaken and embody the next leap of evolution.  We do nothing but by the Will of the Divine, even our fragmented and ignorant will is sourced from the great Will of the Supreme, and so all that we do, think, believe, breathe, feel, sense, all of our movements inward and outward are the movements of the Supreme in His Supreme Action through the Divine Mother’s Supreme Body. 

Ariela’s body ashes merged once more with the Divine Mother’s Body, and my own body was given a good reminder to stay present in this body of mine.  To be aware in this body, and to surrender everything for what lies ahead.

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